


It's Never Easy

by dovingbird



Series: A Sinful Self-Discovery [4]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Quoiromantic Dan, relationship anarchy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: Two interlinking triads is a little messy,he thinks, tilting his head to the side. Dan’s eyes wander down to the shape of Brian’s mouth before they finally dart away.Or perhaps it won’t be two triads. Perhaps it might be something new.~~There isn't always a clear set of directions for how to do life with people, especially when you're exploring ethical nonmonogamy. How do you open up and explain your fears to those you care about when you can't even discuss them with yourself?





	It's Never Easy

It’s Arin’s idea, of course, just like everything is. After a long night curled up with Suzy where neither of them slept, he’s given permission to make their discussion a reality in whatever way he’d like to.  
  
Which is why Danny eases onto his couch with a long sigh, tugging off his hat and fluttering a hand through his hair to loosen the curls, before he realizes that his laptop has a folded piece of paper taped to it. _READ ME,_ it says in huge letters with a badly drawn heart beside it, and Dan glances around the room to find the culprit.  
  
Ross and Barry are talking about something on Barry’s screen. Suzy is painting her toenails while watching a video, her headphones on. Brian hasn’t even entered the room yet. Which leaves Arin, who keeps poking his head out of the kitchen and hiding when he sees Dan’s gaze come anywhere near him.  
  
Danny snorts and covers his mouth to hide his smile. Arin’s something else, all right? And dating him has certainly been a weird adventure. Whatever he’s written inside this little note is bound to be entertaining.  
  
He slouches behind his laptop screen so Arin can’t see him, then opens the note, his eyes widening as he reads.  
  
_Do you like Suzy? Check Yes, No, or Maybe._  
  
Danny shifts on the couch, crossing his legs. In what way of liking is Arin asking, exactly? Because Suzy is a brilliant dynamo who keeps the office running smoothly, and Danny admires that extensively. She’s a sweet confidant and a friendly metamour, never complaining when Dan has some anxiety in the middle of the night that he needs to call Arin and talk through. And there’s the whole thing that happened just a couple of weeks beforehand – the foursome, with Arin and Brian and stunning, incredible Suzy – that makes Dan’s cheeks burn even now as he remembers tasting her pussy, seeing her writhe above him.  
  
Arin has been rude as fuck since then, whispering filth in Danny’s ear just as recently as a couple of nights ago when Dan was fucking him on the sofa – how hot Suzy was to fuck, how she clenched around Arin’s cock so beautifully, how she knew exactly what dirty words to moan out to make Arin fuck her like a man possessed. And here Danny had thought that Arin had a whole other plan in what he said, that Arin had wanted to tease Dan about the competition he had and the shoes he had to fill. But no, apparently not. Apparently Arin was gauging broader interest. Maybe he’d been listening to how Dan’s breath hitched, how Dan had twitched inside of him and had just barely kept himself from coming on the spot to the thought of Suzy riding him while Arin watched.  
  
One thing’s for sure: they’re definitely sexually compatible. The ultimate question is what Dan feels about her besides that, and he’s not even sure he can tell.  
  
A relationship with Arin is new enough. Being invited into a potential...what would it even be called? _A threesome? There’s gotta be a more technical name for it._ It’s a lot of shit to sort through.  
  
But...well, who’s to say that he can’t figure it out? That it wouldn’t be worth it? He adores the both of them, and spending more time around them is always a win in his book, even if Arin is his boyfriend and Suzy’s just a friend that he fucks. There’s no harm in that, right?  
  
Dan’s gaze is drawn to the door when Brian comes in, already sipping his tumbler of coffee. Brian and Suzy have a more casual relationship, as far as he knows, with no titles in place. Maybe Brian would be a good resource to talk to about what that’s like before Dan goes diving into something he doesn’t understand. But as he opens his mouth to call out to him, he notices Brian freeze before he reaches out to pick up a note taped to his desk.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
~~  
  
_Do you like Arin? Check Yes, No, or Maybe._  
  
Brian snorts and immediately looks at the kitchen, where he sees wispy hair disappearing around the corner. “I’m over forty years old, Arin, I’m not in junior high with you!” he calls out before looking back down at the paper. He’s pretty sure he hears Suzy giggle behind him, and he sends her a stern look just to watch her lift her perfectly manicured eyebrows in playful invitation.  
  
She’s not behind this, he knows that for sure. He knows Suzy’s handwriting almost as well as his own, after all of the notes she leaves around the office and her own home to make sure everyone in her life is keeping up with what needs to get done. No, this must be Arin’s handwriting, and it’s an interesting question, isn’t it? _Does_ he like Arin? Or does he only like feeling the thickness of his cock inside of him?  
  
Brian’s lips twitch in the face of Suzy’s beaming expression, and he shakes his head slowly as he crosses the room and steals Arin’s chair to sit beside her. “I suppose you have an explanation for this,” he murmurs, sliding her hair away from her neck and kissing it.  
  
“It’s just an idea,” she says. She catches his hand and loosely holds it in her lap. “Arin and I have been talking about, um, the night that all of us had together?”  
  
He smiles. As if he’d be able to forget. “And?”  
  
“And, yeah!” She taps the paper in his other hand. “That’s what we came up with.”  
  
“You want to know how I feel about Arin?”  
  
“Arin wants to know,” she amends.  
  
“And you don’t care?”  
  
“I don’t exactly have anything to do with it if you do or don’t, do I?”  
  
“You do, though.” Brian thumbs over the back of her hand, soothing them both with his touch. “Have you explained to Arin why you and I are casual?”  
  
“Mm-hmm.” She nods. “I told him neither you nor I are interested in something serious right now.”  
  
“And he understands that?”  
  
“Yep!”  
  
“So this...” He places the note on her desk. “...this right here, this is an invitation for something casual too? Not him asking me to be his boyfriend?”  
  
Suzy smiles at him. “Brian, no offense, but you should really be talking to him about it, not me. I’ve already had my say.”  
  
“And that was?”  
  
“Private,” she whispers, reaching up to pat his face.  
  
Brian glances at the kitchen. From his current position, he can see how Arin leans against the counter, palming his phone, his gaze flitting from Brian to Danny to his phone and back again.  “I came to you first because I needed to make sure you were aware of what he asked, and that you were understanding. Especially after how you and me started out.”  
  
Suzy studies her nails in silence, though no doubt both of their minds go to the same incident – Arin being the first of them to get a second partner once they opened their marriage, Suzy feeling lonely and a little abandoned once she realized the fact that she would indeed be sharing her husband’s time, and how she and Brian collided together in a shared moment of desperation and had simply seen fit to stick around. “I appreciate you checking in.” She squeezes his hand before letting it go. “But I’m pretty happy with how things are now. I don’t feel like I’m the one left behind while everybody else has fun.” She smiles and ducks her head. “Besides, Arin gave Dan the same piece of paper, except about me, so...”  
  
That’s new information. Brian’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline as he looks at Dan, and lo and behold, Dan is already looking right at him, his cheeks pink. “Is that so?” he drawls.  
  
“Mm-hmm.” She giggles. “I’m still not sure I actually want, like, a boyfriend or whatever, but there’s something nice about the idea of having both you and Danny around. I like you both a lot, you know?”  
  
“What are you thinking with him?” Brian asks. “An actual partner? Or perhaps a little relationship anarchy?”  
  
“Probably the second one. I don’t know. I still have to talk to him.”  
  
Brian keeps his gaze on Danny and Danny doesn’t look away. Brian’s mind lingers on the feel of Dan pushing inside of him, Arin’s breath on Brian’s shoulder, Suzy twisting around to ride Danny’s face. Interesting to consider what Brian thought would be a one night stand among the four of them turning into a variant of a triad, while Brian lingers on the edge of one with Suzy and Arin as well.  
  
_Two interlinking triads is a little messy,_ he thinks, tilting his head to the side. Dan’s eyes wander down to the shape of Brian’s mouth before they finally dart away. _Or perhaps it won’t be two triads. Perhaps it might be something new._  
  
“I should go talk to Arin,” Brian says as he cups Suzy’s cheek and gives her a quick, fleeting kiss. “And you should go talk to Danny. Maybe we can figure this out sooner than we think. A quad date of some kind?”  
  
She beams again, eyes bright with starlight. “Yeah! Arin and I are free this weekend so far. We can arrange something for then.”  
  
“Perfect.” He leaves a soft kiss on the end of her nose just to hear her laugh as he gets up. “Keep me informed.”  
  
“Will do!”  
  
Brian makes his way toward the kitchen, purposely taking the long way around. He reaches down as he passes Danny and brushes the tips of his fingers along the back of his arm. The sound of Danny gasping and shivering makes him smirk as he slips into the kitchen.  
  
  
~~  
  
  
Dan sweats on the front porch of the Hanson-Berhow home for more reasons than the sweltering California summer. He’s wearing his favorite leather jacket, for one, purely because it makes him look fucking good and he feels like he can hide inside of it when he gets nervous. For two, he’s aware that Brian’s car is already in the driveway, that all three of them – Brian, Arin, and Suzy – are waiting inside for him.  
  
It feels an awful lot like that foursome night, and his dick already has ideas.  
  
He hears the pattering of tiny feet coming down the hallway before he can consider those ideas any further, thank God, and when the door flies open Suzy squeaks and throws her arms around his neck. “Hey, you’re here!”  
  
“Hey,” he says, grinning as he hugs her. Fuck, she fits in his arms perfectly. It makes the whole evening that much more of a nervous experience. “I’m here.”  
  
“Yes!” She pulls away just to grab his hand and tug him inside. “Come in, come in! Arin and Brian are already in the living room. You can go join them. Just sit anywhere. Do you want some Pepsi, maybe? Or some water?”  
  
“Um, water is fine,” he says as he slides his shoes off. “Thank you.”  
  
She comes up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and his face burns all over. “You’re welcome!” she tosses over her shoulder as she hurries down to the kitchen.  
  
Force of nature. God, he likes her a lot more than he ever wanted to.  
  
Dan tries to cool off his blush before he comes into the living room, but there’s no fixing it, not when his boyfriend is already there with his feet in Brian’s lap on the couch and laughing at something he said. When Arin sees him he stands and tugs Dan in with a hand on his shirt, kissing him deeply. “Hey there.”  
  
“Hey!” His voice cracks. It’s a good start to the night.  
  
“Missed you,” Arin murmurs, his voice dripping like honey as he tugs Dan on the couch with him.  
  
Danny laughs. “I-I just saw you like two hours ago at work.”  
  
“I know.” He grins and nuzzles into his neck, easing into his lap. “I missed you anyway.”  
  
Dan pets through Arin’s hair, warming inside when he hums in response. Brian takes Arin’s legs back into his lap, running his hand absently up and down his bare calves, and Dan feels Arin’s breath shudder against his throat.  
  
It’s nice, Dan thinks, but also he’s so about to get a boner if Arin so much as moves an inch.  
  
“Here we go!” Suzy appears in the room like an angel and offers a tall sweating glass of ice water to Dan before she sits on the edge of the coffee table. “Okay! Are we ready for the discussion?”  
  
Arin whines. “Suzy...” He drags her name out. “We already know what it’s gonna be, c’mon, can’t we just, like, chill out and fuck or something?”  
  
_Okay, instaboner, there it is,_ Danny thinks forlornly. He looks over at Brian for help, but he’s already watching Dan, lips just barely twitched into a smirk.  
  
“Babe, we can fuck later,” Suzy says, scoffing. “Listen, I just wanna make sure we’re all on the same page. It’ll take like five minutes, and then we can do whatever.”  
  
Was there supposed to be another foursome tonight? Should he have worn more attractive boxers? They’re good enough for Arin, but Suzy? Maybe not.  
  
“So!” Suzy points at Arin and Dan. “You two. Boyfriends.”  
  
“Yep,” Arin says. He shifts his weight just deliberately enough that Dan holds his breath when Arin’s thigh rubs against his growing boner. “Been a few months, Suzy, we know that much.”  
  
“It’s groundwork, Arin,” she says sternly, and Arin pouts but stays quiet. “And Brian and me, we’re fuck buddies.”  
  
“That’s a term for it, sure,” Brian says. “Do we even need a term?”  
  
“Not really?” Suzy shrugs. “But, like, if people ask, I guess.”  
  
Brian hums. “But then we start running into problems.” He tosses an arm around Danny’s shoulder, his fingers playing with the hair on the back of Arin’s head, and Danny feels his heart skip a beat. “Like, say, with me and your husband. What are we, exactly?”  
  
“You don’t want a boyfriend?” Arin asks in the rough tone he gets when he’s extremely distracted. Danny tilts his head and watches Arin’s eyelashes flutter under the effects of Brian rubbing his calf and scratching at his scalp in tandem.  
  
“Not really.” Brian snorts. “I barely have time for myself, I have so many projects going on. The likelihood that I’d be able to take you on a date or call you every night is slim to none.”  
  
Arin’s eyes fly open. “But you still like me.”  
  
“I do.” Brian’s eyes soften as he smiles. “I like you a lot.”  
  
“But not enough to date me.”  
  
“Not enough to date anybody,” Brian says patiently. “I’m not dating your wife either. Doesn’t make the time we spend together any less important or meaningful.”  
  
Arin narrows his eyes. “I’m just...I’m not used to it, like...I dated Suzy for most of my life, then I married her, and now I’m dating Dan. I don’t exactly have a lot of casual experience. I could be, like, needy and shit or something and not even know it.” He laughs, but it’s just raw enough that Dan squeezes his thigh in comfort and nuzzles into his temple. He understands Arin’s trepidation in the face of something new and undefinable.  
  
“We’d still be friends, Arin. We’d still talk.” Brian scoots closer, pressing his thigh against Dan’s, and Danny exhales sharply against Arin’s skin as he tries to stay focused on the present moment, not the fact that he’s hard as nails in the middle of a serious adult discussion. “If you needed more from me and I felt like I could give it, we’d reassess. How do you feel about how things have been with us so far?”  
  
“Uh.” He swallows hard. “Like, as friends? Good, I think? Except for the whole like wanting to kiss you and fuck you thing and not being able to.”  
  
“Well, we can do that.” Brian grins. “Besides that, nothing much has to change right away. We can just see where it goes.”  
  
Arin bites his bottom lip. Suzy reaches across in the silence and squeezes Arin’s other thigh, her fingers grazing Danny’s, and Danny meets her gaze with surprising solidarity. He and Suzy have never tag teamed Arin during one of his low moments, and it’s stunning how easily they both move into it. Brian, too.  
  
“It’s worth trying,” Arin finally says. “I like you too much to just, like, not even try. Even if it sounds scary enough to make me shit my pants.”  
  
Dan chuckles against his cheek and leaves a kiss there.  
  
“Nothing scary, I promise.” Brian leans in and presses his lips against Arin’s, quick and fleeting but close enough to Danny that his ear tickles over his nose. “We’ll just take it easy, okay? A little at a time.”  
  
“Cool.”  
  
Brian leans back and looks at Suzy. “What’s next on the agenda?”  
  
“I guess me and Dan!” She beams at Danny and touches the back of his hand, right on top of Arin’s leg. “So what are you thinking? You want me to be your girlfriend? Or just see where it goes?”  
  
What Danny feels is that Suzy is a goddess incarnate that he could never be worthy of even if he tried, but phrasing that right now would probably just make it sound like he was trying to get laid. He giggles nervously. “Uh, that’s...I-I don’t know.”  
  
“Should we do the same feelings test?”  
  
“No, that’s, that’s okay!” Dan twists his hand so he can squeeze hers. “Suzy, I like you a lot, but you kind of intimidate the shit out of me.”  
  
She blinks. “Why?”  
  
“Because even right now I think I-I’m not good enough for you?” Maybe exposing that secret before something’s even started is a bad idea. He winces. “Just, like...Scuze, I mean, you’re amazing. You know that, right? You’re smart and talented and gorgeous and sexy and I’m sort of like an old shoe.”  
  
“A smart talented gorgeous sexy old shoe,” Suzy says, batting her eyelashes.  
  
He laughs. “I’m being serious.”  
  
“Me too!” She scoots closer, their knees knocking together. “Look, I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about you, but I know for sure that it’s not a matter of one of us being any less than the other. It’s just about us trying to figure out if we wanna make something work between us.” She pauses. “Though, for the record, I’m not sure I’m after a boyfriend right now either. Especially not my husband’s boyfriend. I’d rather start slow, not be committed to something I might end up fucking up – you and Arin have got a good thing going, and I don’t wanna ruin it.”  
  
“You’re not gonna ruin it, babe,” Arin murmurs. He kisses her, and Danny wonders fleetingly if Suzy can taste Brian on his lips. “Dan and I are big boys, okay? Even if something with the two of you didn’t work it out, Dan and I will be just fine on our own, just like you and me will be, I promise.”  
  
She sighs. “Okay.” When she turns her sparkling eyes back on Danny, he tries to slow the pattering of his heart. “So we take it slow, just like Arin and Brian? Just see what happens?”  
  
It still sounds like something he’ll mess up along the way, but it also means he gets to kiss Suzy rather than just _think_ about kissing her, and Danny’s just selfish enough to want to make that happen. “Yeah,” he finally says, and when Suzy claps her hands together and bounces once before leaning in for a kiss, he’s pretty sure something inside of him melts.  
  
“So we figured it all out,” Arin says as he starts sliding one hand down Danny’s chest and the other up Brian’s thigh, his eyes already sparking with hot embers. “So let’s get to figuring _it_ out, huh?”  
  
“Baby, hold on.” Suzy gestures between Danny and Brian. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”  
  
Dan freezes, his gaze snapping over to Brian. Brian’s already watching him seriously, his mouth in a contemplative line, waiting for something. _But what?_ “Excuse me?” Dan laughs out his nerves again.  
  
“You and Brian!” Suzy blinks a few times as she looks from one to the other and back again. “We’ve already talked about everything else here. And we all know you both had a night together and that you had a good time the last time we all got together.”  
  
Dan’s cheeks burn.  
  
“So I think we should talk about that too. It’s been the elephant in the room for a long time, right?”  
  
Dan looks away, staring at the wall. _How the hell am I supposed to talk about that?_ His thoughts don’t go straight when he’s around Brian; they never have. They get muddled and lost, leaving him with bursts of sensation and an aching need that he’s never been able to identify, even when his hands were buried in Brian’s short hair as he rode Danny on his living room floor. It’s confusing as fuck. It was safer, somehow, dealing with his bubbly endorphins around Arin and diving into that rather than spending even a second thinking about the scorching burn he feels when he’s alone with Brian.  
  
“That’s not something we have to discuss,” Brian says softly, breaking the thick silence. “We’re not all required to be involved with each other. It’s already a lot for Danny to start considering you as a prospective partner, Suzy. There shouldn’t be pressure for him to think about it with someone else as well.”  
  
Something about Brian’s words doesn’t sit well with him. He frowns and meets his gaze. “Just me, huh?” When Brian doesn’t reply, only watches him unblinkingly, Danny presses on. “Mr. I-Don’t-Want-A-Boyfriend-Right-Now is willing to think about me as a ‘prospective partner,’ but no, don’t give Dan more than he can handle, that’s dangerous.”  
  
“Are you interested?” Brian asks unflinchingly.  
  
And this is always what Danny was afraid of: Brian looking him right in his soul while Danny struggled to articulate anything that was going on inside of him. So since the emotions are raw, Danny goes with what he’s used to – being casual. “I know I like fucking you,” he says, for once holding his nervous laughter at bay and making his voice as firm as he can. “I know we have good chemistry and we make good shit together.”  
  
“That doesn’t answer my question, Dan.”  
  
“Then let’s fuck and figure it out, huh? Does that answer it?”  
  
“Hey.” Suzy touches both of their arms. “This isn’t supposed to be a fight, it’s supposed to be a discussion.”  
  
“And we’re having one,” Brian says seamlessly, shrugging off any seriousness that the matter might have and leaving Danny scrambling to catch up – frustration and anger, he could easily roll with, but not this total neutrality. “Just like me and Suzy, then. Pure relationship anarchy. We won’t assign terms until we encounter a need for it. And until then, anything goes, as long as we’re both consenting. Yes?”  
  
He makes it sound so easy, as if he’s been thinking about it for ages. Something doesn’t sit right in Dan’s stomach – it jostles around like he’s going to be sick – but he swallows hard and nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.”  
  
“Okay,” Brian says.  
  
“Okay,” Dan replies as evenly as he can.  
  
Brian flicks his gaze over Dan’s face, leaving a trail that Dan swears he can feel. And when Brian leans in, Dan forgets how to breathe.  
  
Brian teases a kiss out of Danny, soft and gentle and sugar sweet, and Dan’s eyes slide shut as he fights to breathe when Brian pulls back. There’s a warm sound from Arin – the sound of the two of them kissing now – and then Arin is kissing _Dan,_ slick and warm and immediately identifiable even with his eyes shut.  
  
“Bedroom?” Brian murmurs. “Suzy?”  
  
“Definitely,” Suzy says. Dan’s heart cracks through his ribs with how fast it beats. “C’mon, I’ll get the condoms.”  
  
Arin moans against Dan’s mouth, reaching to squeeze his cock through his jeans, and Dan immediately pushes to his feet, grabbing Arin to steady him. “I’m gonna suck your cock,” Arin whispers.  
  
“Fuck.” Danny kisses him roughly, a hand around his jaw, before he feels a soft hand in his own – Suzy’s – that starts tugging him toward the stairs.  
  
He doesn’t have answers, and he’s scared to death, but maybe if he drowns in the three of them he’ll be able to forget it all.  
  
  
~~  
  
  
Organization has always been a strong point for Brian. Chaos is fascinating when applied to others, but order reigns in his life, and maintaining it requires a tight schedule.  
  
“Morning,” he murmurs as he comes up behind Suzy in the office, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek. “How are you?”  
  
“Good!” She smiles, tilting her head back in invitation, and Brian takes it, brushing his mouth over hers. “How are you?”  
  
“Great. Do you have lunch plans today?”  
  
“Nope! You interested?”  
  
“Absolutely.” He sweeps his gaze over her face. “Your makeup looks impeccable.”  
  
“Thanks!” Suzy practically shines the sun on his face, she’s so warm and bright.  
  
Brian gives himself exactly three seconds to appreciate it with a smile before he scans the room. “Let me know when you’re hungry and I’ll head out to lunch with you.”  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
He crosses the room, making a mark on a mental checklist, and walks straight into Arin’s open arms. “Hey there.” Brian slides his hand through Arin’s hair, pushing it out of his face.  
  
“Hey.” Arin’s low voice rumbles against Brian’s chest, and Brian welcomes the soft pleasure of the kiss he leaves on the slope of his jaw. “How are you today?”  
  
“Not bad at all. You?”  
  
“Good! Better now that I’ve seen you.”  
  
A little pocket of warmth explodes in Brian’s chest, and he grins. “Well then, I’ve got a proposition for you.”  
  
“Oh?” Arin looks down at him and quirks a brow. “And what’s that?”  
  
“Dinner?” Brian tilts his head. “Maybe we record something together at the end of the day and head out right after that?”  
  
“You’re not just trying to fuck me in the studio, are you?” Arin teases.  
  
Brian winks, and as Arin laughs he slips out of his hold. “Seriously, though, dinner date?”  
  
“My favorite.” Arin snags his hand and kisses the back of it, then lets him go. “See you then, babe.”  
  
“I’m looking forward to it,” Brian tosses over his shoulder as he walks. Another checkmark.  
  
It doesn’t take much searching to find Danny typing an email, and Brian drapes over the couch and shoves his head into Danny’s lap like an obtrusive dog.  
  
“Oh my God,” Danny says, laughing. “Dude, I’ve really gotta finish this email, it’s about studio time-”  
  
“It can wait.” Brian stares up at Danny, letting the force of his gaze do the heavy lifting for him. “Danny. Dan. Daniel. Danny.”  
  
“Stop! Shut the fuck up!” Dan laughs again, at least, which shows he’s not _actually_ pissed off yet, but there’s still a ticking clock in Brian’s head that won’t slow down. When Dan still doesn’t stop typing, Brian reaches to tickle his forearm. “Brian!”  
  
“I want you to come over tonight,” Brian says as he pushes the laptop further away so he has more room for his head. “Maybe spend the night.”  
  
Danny’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline. “I-is that so?”  
  
“Mm-hmm.” Brian reaches up and tugs at one of Danny’s curls, gentle and teasing. “You remember my apartment, Dan. Remember the couch. The floor.”  
  
“Shut up,” Danny murmurs, just breathy enough to tell Brian that he’s certainly remembering how they fucked there the first night that Brian moved in. “Jesus.”  
  
“I think it’d be nice,” Brian says. “Just you and me. Netflix and fuck.”  
  
“That’s not at all what it’s called.”  
  
“It is when you’re honest.” He smiles up at Dan.  
  
Danny runs a hand through his hair, and Brian frowns. It’s a common tell of Danny’s nervousness and agitation.  
  
He’d thought that perhaps now that they’d laid out what they were looking for in each other, they might’ve moved beyond that. Tension flutters at the base of his throat, and before it can fully manifest he swallows it away. “What do you say?” he finally asks. He trails his fingers over Dan’s cheek. “If you’re busy, I understand.”  
  
“No!” Dan blurts out. “No, I’m not busy, I-I’d love to come over.”  
  
“You sure?” Brian asks, quirking a brow.  
  
“Yeah!” Dan flashes him a smile, one that shows up just a few seconds too late. “I mean, you and me, we’ve got a lot to catch up on compared to, like, Arin and Suzy, don’t we?”  
  
Not the most bolstering response, but encouraging enough. Brian teases the tip of his thumb over Danny’s bottom lip, then pulls his hand away. “I’ve got dinner plans, but I can call you when I get done and you can head over. No later than 8pm, I’d say.”  
  
Danny nods. “Sounds good, dude.”  
  
“Good.” And yet another checkmark made. Brian frowns as he peruses the list in his head just a little more.  
  
“What is it?” Dan asks.  
  
“I have to make a call,” Brian mumbles as he sits up and pulls out his phone.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“Flowers.”  
  
“...for?”  
  
“For lunch.” Brian slides off the couch and makes his way into the hallway, already trying to remember if Suzy had ever told him her favorite flower. Surely she had. Surely he was attentive enough to remember.  
  
  
~~  
  
“Hey, question, why do you look like death?”  
  
“Fuck you, Barry!” Danny sings as brightly as he can.  
  
“Seriously.” Barry bumps the fridge shut with his hip and plops down on the edge of the couch, picking up his controller and unpausing his game. “You’ve been laying there for like ten minutes. You’re taking up the whole couch.”  
  
“I’m like three hundred feet tall.” Dan scoffs. “You knew this when you moved in with me, dude. Get used to it.”  
  
“Also I think you fell asleep with your eyes open.”  
  
Dan rubs his eyes, his patience as thin as a thread. “Do you have a point? Or is this just the Roast Danny Hour?”  
  
Barry makes a spectacular headshot in game before he ducks behind cover again. “You already weren’t sleeping before.”  
  
“Before?”  
  
“Before you got like thirty boyfriends and girlfriends.”  
  
It strikes a sour chord in him, reverberating with terrible feedback. “I have one boyfriend,” he says tiredly. “Suzy and Brian are...are different.”  
  
“Different.”  
  
“Yeah,” he mumbles.  
  
“So you’re going out on dates with all of them, you’re sleeping with all of them, you’re sneaking kisses with all of them...but only Arin is your boyfriend.”  
  
“Yeah,” he says a little louder. “That’s, like, it’s normal, Barry, maybe it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s normal in this whole ethical whozawhutsit thing.”  
  
Barry respawns and immediately goes to start spawncamping. “The technical term, of course.”  
  
Maybe if he doesn’t reply the subject will get dropped. He stares at the ceiling.  
  
“Okay, listen, even if I take your word for it – that it’s normal – I don’t see how you balance them.” Barry gets shot and huffs, leaning back into the couch while he’s waiting to respawn. “Like, okay, they don’t all get a special title, but you’re still having to spend time with them all, right?”  
  
Danny lets out a long sigh, but Barry doesn’t immediately clue in and take it back, and Danny’s not enough of an asshole not to reply to a question from one of his best friends. “They’re worth it. They’re worth being tired for.”  
  
“I can see that.” Barry squirms just enough to be noticeable. “Especially with, like, Suzy, maybe, but, uh. Just...I guess I just don’t get it.”  
  
“Get what?”  
  
“What are your long term plans with these guys?” He ends the game, his team triumphant as usual, and tosses the controller down while he waits to be matched again. “I know you said you were done with the whole one night stand thing, but...doesn’t not giving them a title mean they’re just casual? Isn’t that sort of the same idea?”  
  
“It’s not like that, it’s...” But the words don’t come to him.  
  
Not having one night stands make sense. He might not want to get married – at least right now – but there’s a slow craving for a long term partner that’s been building in his gut. As much as he values his independence and not having to share his bed with someone every night if he doesn’t feel like it, he can’t deny that it’s heady and awesome to feel all these endorphins for someone like Arin. He’s a big fan of getting surprised with kisses and being held from behind. Knowing he’s always on someone’s mind is more validating than he wants to admit.  
  
But it’s a lot sometimes. There are nights where Danny lays in bed and thinks of Arin and wants so badly to text him and knows that he can’t, that he’s on a date with Suzy – his wife, the woman who’ll be by his side for the rest of his life, who’ll carry his children and help raise them. And there’s that strong reminder that his relationship with Arin is not so guaranteed.  
  
He moved away from ‘casual’ in order to have a longer guarantee, and instead he willingly moved into a web of uncertainty. He’d taken on a boyfriend – a title that suggests a potential future – and then followed it with two… _What even are they?_ Friends that he fucked? People that he wanted to be around every second he was alive?  
  
He’ll be at a butterfly garden with Suzy and watch her laugh as they cover her hands, and his heart will explode. He’ll be brushing his nose against Arin’s in between kisses, and his lungs will collapse. He’ll be feeling Brian’s arms tighten just that little more around him while he fucks him, and his blood will race.  
  
Is it safe to feel this much with so little guarantee that he’ll be able to feel it forever?  
  
“Do you think you’ll be with them for a long time?” Barry asks, distant and echoing. “Do you think you’ll all be able to go back to how it was before if something goes wrong?”  
  
Dan’s brain, ricocheting down a track, screeches to a stop. And the last thing he can do is let everything catch up.  
  
“Dan?”  
  
He flies to his feet and shoves them into his shoes. “I’m gonna go out for a while.”  
  
“Wait, seriously?”  
  
“Yeah.” He grabs his jacket and his keys. “Don’t wait up for me, man.”  
  
“Dan-”  
  
He slams the door.  
  
There’s no plan for where he’s driving. There’s no destination. It’s just mindless driving through California interstates, burning gas and wasting time and leaving his thoughts far, far behind.  
  
But even with his thoughts and fears on the backburner, his chest still aches – too full, too aching, too intense. He’s not used to it. He doesn’t understand how to parse through the emotions, the attachments, the fact that no matter how fast he drives he can’t leave his deep aching desire for all three of them behind.  
  
He could take a rocket to the moon and he still wouldn’t be able to leave it behind. It feels like he’s stuck with it. And he can’t decide whether that’s good, bad, or a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.  
  
The sky is gray by the time he makes it home with an empty tank and heavy eyes. There’s still a few hours before he needs to be in the office. He can catch a power nap and press on. But when he opens the door, Barry’s still on the couch, his phone loose in his hands, his eyes just barely open.  
  
The fact that Barry stayed up almost until the sun rose for him…  
  
“Dan?” Barry sits up and rubs his eyes. “You okay?”  
  
With muscles as heavy as steel, Danny moves through the living room. “I’m fine.”  
  
“Do you, um. Maybe wanna talk about-”  
  
“Please drop it, Bar,” Danny murmurs, holding his gaze unwaveringly as he rubs the back of his neck. “Please.”  
  
Barry stares at him for what feels like hours before he sighs. “Yeah. Okay, Dan.”  
  
  
~~  
  
  
Another week passes before Brian becomes fully aware of the eyes on him. Two pairs, in fact, focused and intent in different ways. Arin’s always had a softness about him, but Suzy is like a hawk when she has her mind set on something – she puts Brian himself to shame, he thinks admirably. He’s never fully felt the effects of his own gaze, but when hers burns into the back of his neck like that he’s pleased by the shiver he gets.  
  
Right before lunch, when he sees them sitting together and whispering, he pounces, slamming a hand down on one of their shoulders each and leaning between them. “If you want to proposition me for a threesome, all you have to do is ask,” he murmurs with a quirked brow. “No need to make me come after you. As much as I like the chase-”  
  
“Brian.” Arin stands up and grabs his hand. “I need to talk to you.”  
  
He blinks. “Oh, a _different_ proposition, okay.” As Arin drags him away without so much as another word to Suzy, Brian peers over his shoulder, but she’s no help. “Only have your courage when your wife isn’t there to judge you?”  
  
“Just stop, dude.” Arin sighs. “This is serious.”  
  
“ _Serious,_ you say,” Brian drawls, but he can’t ignore the anxious eruption in his chest. “How serious are we talking about?”  
  
Arin pulls him into a rarely used storage closet of theirs and shuts the door, trapping them both in the confined space without anyone to interrupt them, and Brian starts to understand.  
  
Brian perches on the edge of a tall box, his mouth dry. Whatever Arin wants to talk about, he’s not prepared to give in that easily. “I remember this room,” he says. “I remember when I brought Suzy in here and-”  
  
“I need to talk to you about Danny.”  
  
“Oh, thank fuck,” Brian mutters, letting out all of the air in his lungs and half his tension along with it. “Jesus, Arin, I thought you were bringing me in here to break things off with me.”  
  
Arin’s face is far more serious than it should be as he crosses his arms. He weighs his words. “I don’t wanna have to do that.”  
  
Brian can’t quite swallow the knot in his throat. “...but?”  
  
“But...” Arin stares at the floor for a long few seconds. “...I-I’m afraid that opening things up to you might’ve started some weird chain that I can’t really follow yet.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Like...” He huffs. “Okay, look, something’s wrong with Danny.”  
  
“Is it?” Brian stiffens. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been dating him for a while now, we’ve been best friends for even longer-”  
  
“He’s my best friend too,” Brian says in as measured a tone as he can manage, “and I haven’t noticed anything.”  
  
“Really?” Arin snaps his gaze up and meets Brian’s. “You don’t think he’s been pulling back a lot recently?”  
  
“He’s been tired.” His patience is wearing thin, and his voice shows it. “Maybe you’re not used to Dan getting in these work spirals, but I’ve seen a lot of them, and-”  
  
“Okay, let’s just, let’s stop for a second.” Arin drops his arms to his side, takes a deep breath, and relaxes his shoulders. “I didn’t come in here to get in a dick measuring contest with you about Dan, dude, you and me both know I’d lose every time.”  
  
Brian’s lips quirk. “You’ve got the curve, though. I’m more fond of it than mine.” He tries to relax as well – this isn’t about him, this isn’t about Arin, and this isn’t about the two of them together. “I’m sorry. I get...defensive when it comes to Dan sometimes, and it can make me miss things. So start again. I’ll shut the fuck up this time.”  
  
Arin closes his eyes for a moment and thinks. “He’s...pulling back, I think. From me. From Suzy. And I don’t know why, because, like, he wasn’t _like_ that before, not with me. And I can’t figure out if the tipping point is you or Suzy or both, and I’m...I’m just worried, Brian, he means the fucking world to me and I love him to death, and I-I don’t know how to fix this.” He laughs breathily, more sound than actual feeling, and rakes the hair out of his eyes.  
  
Brian frowns, wrinkling his brow. _Is that true?_ He tries to trace specific memories of the two of them recently. He’s been able to maintain a solid two dates a week with all three of them, even if they’re only tiny lunch dates. Dan certainly hadn’t tried to get out of them.  
  
“I-I’ve just never seen him like this. He’s not answering my calls that much. It’s like he checks out when we’re on a date together. He hasn’t...” Arin hesitates, then mumbles. “He hasn’t, like, initiated sex with me for a couple of weeks now, and I don’t...”  
  
Brian tries to remember the last time Dan initiated any contact with him – a kiss, hand holding, sex. He knows that Dan yields every time Brian leans in for anything, but when was the last time he closed the gap himself?  
  
“I don’t know if it’s something I did wrong.” Arin leans against the wall, then drags down it slowly until he’s in a heap. “Or if he’s just not happy, or...”  
  
“Have you tried talking to him?” Brian asks.  
  
Arin sighs. “Suzy’s talking to him right now, in...in case it was my fault.”  
  
  
~~  
  
  
When Suzy sits Danny down on the hood of her car, he’s not exactly sure what it’s supposed to mean. She’s focused and intent, he knows that, but he’s still doesn’t know how he fits into it, and when just looking at her fucking gorgeous eyes can make his heart skip a beat it means that he’s deeper than he thought he ever could be.  
  
With it comes the tightening vice around his heart, then the aching guilt, and finally his gaze being pulled to the ground – the coward’s approach. But he never claimed to be anything but.  
  
“We need to talk,” she says.  
  
“Is this supposed to feel like an interrogation?” Danny counters. “Should we jump right to what I did wrong?”  
  
“Do you _think_ you did something wrong?”  
  
He clamps his mouth shut and kicks a stray rock away.  
  
Suzy sighs and perches next to him, her feet kicking freely once she settles. “You don’t even know why we’re out here, and already you’re feeling guilty.”  
  
He doesn’t like being so easily read, not when it comes to his weaknesses. He stiffens. “Tell me why we’re out here, then.”  
  
“Um, because I’m worried about you?” Suzy looks at him, and he feels the warmth of her gaze even though he refuses to look back. “You’ve been...different lately. And I wanted to know if you had anything you needed to talk about.”  
  
Danny holds his breath and counts slowly backward from five. Finding stability through that when everything else is shaking is almost impossible, but worth trying.  
  
“We’ve got all the time in the world, by the way. Arin’s not expecting us back until we’re done.”  
  
_So I can’t even run the clock down, great._ Danny squeezes his eyes shut until it hurts, then huffs. “I’m just tired, Scuze, that’s all. You don’t have to worry about anything.”  
  
“Are you tired because of Arin, Brian, and me?”  
  
He doesn’t want to lie. He bites his tongue.  
  
“Or is it maybe just one of us?”  
  
_Fuck fuck fuck._ His heart pounds fast enough to hammer a hole clean through his ribs.  
  
“Did...one of us hurt you? Do you need to stop seeing one of us?”  
  
The floodgates open. “No, Scuze, Jesus, no.” He looks at her with a pleading gaze, instinctively reaching to touch her arm. “Fuck, you’re all incredible, don’t ever think something’s wrong with any of you.”  
  
“Then what is it?” She twists to face him with wide eyes. “I know you’re not happy, Danny. Arin does too. And that’s not...this relationship thing we’ve got going on, it’s supposed to be something happy and healthy, and if it’s not, then...”  
  
The walls crumble down brick by brick. Just seeing her face, knowing how worried he’s made her, it’s enough to bring him to the edge of tears. “Hey.” He cups her face and leans in, brushing their noses together and letting out a shaky breath. “You’re, you’re fucking incredible, Suzy. I love spending time with you and being around you and getting to know you in this whole new way, but it’s just...”  
  
“What?” she whispers. She puts her warm hands over his own. “What’s wrong?”  
  
It’s too late to save himself, much less them. He lets it out. “I-it’s too much.”  
  
  
~~  
  
“You don’t really think he’s unhappy, do you?” Brian asks, cold dread spreading in his chest like ice. “He can’t be. We’re all good for him.”  
  
Arin paces as well as he can in the limited space, shaking his head. “I-I don’t know, man, he’s just-”  
  
“I spend time with every single one of you,” he snaps. “I’ve showered him in attention. I’ve talked to him every night. I’ve bought him dinner. Do you know how many Skittles I’ve surprised him with?”  
  
Arin stops, staring at him, brow furrowed. “Brian.”  
  
“You can’t tell me he’s unhappy when I’m doing everything right!” And the storm whips up in his body, freezing and whirling and building up a funnel cloud of anxiety, until he takes a step toward Arin with sharp eyes. “He doesn’t have a goddamn reason to leave!”  
  
“Brian.” Arin holds up his hands, his voice low and placating, like Brian’s a fucking animal. “Hey, hey, sweetheart, take a deep breath for me, okay?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Brian snarls. “Nothing’s wrong, I just-”  
  
“You’re at like a level nine, dude, I need you to come back down to like a level three with me, okay? Everything’s okay. Just breathe.”  
  
Brian shuts his eyes and forces himself to breathe evenly through his nose, but his lungs betray him and leave him gasping and touching his chest. “Fuck,” he whispers roughly.  
  
“Hey, shh-”  
  
“I-I did it all right,” Brian whispers. “Arin, I-I-”  
  
“I know you did, sweetheart.” And then Arin is there, tugging Brian into his arms, letting him bury his head in his chest. “It’s okay.”  
  
  
~~  
  
  
“What exactly is too much?” Suzy’s voice stays calm and low, as if Danny isn’t on the verge of falling apart, as if he isn’t ruining everything good in his life just because he’s weak and scared.  
  
“Everything,” he presses. “Holy fuck, I don’t even know how to put it into words, just, I-”  
  
“Hey.” She presses a kiss to his cheek, then pulls back and holds his hands loosely between them. “Just stay with me, okay? Just breathe and answer me when you can.”  
  
Danny nods. His hands shake inside of Suzy’s smooth, small ones.  
  
“Is it something that we did wrong? Any of us?”  
  
Danny shakes his head, wrinkling his brow in pain.  
  
“Is it the time constraints? Are you overwhelmed with all three of us? Because we can mediate that. We already see each other a lot.”  
  
He loves seeing them. He thrives on it. He hesitates before he shakes his head.  
  
“Can you give me any kind of a hint so I can help you?”  
  
He watches how their hands fit together, how when he turns his he can lace their fingers, can practically feel their energy coalescing. “Do you know what it feels like to wonder if your heart isn’t as big as everybody else’s?”  
  
Silence. “What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean, like...” Dan squeezes her hand and tries to draw strength from it. “It’s so easy for you and Arin and Brian to do this stuff. A-and I don’t know if it’s because you only have one true partner, and everyone else is just a fuck buddy or whatever, but I-I don’t understand why it looks so easy.”  
  
“Can you explain what you mean?”  
  
_Out with it._ He meets her gaze, hating how his jaw is shaking with tension. “I. Feel. So. Much. For you guys. I mean, like, I used to think that I just didn’t feel a whole lot of stuff for somebody outside of...of wanting to sleep with them, but...now I’m wondering if I just don’t think right, or feel right, like maybe I can’t even feel a difference between being somebody’s friend and being somebody’s lover. Maybe it’s all the same to me. Because all I know is I spent my whole life not thinking I ever wanted to date somebody, and then here you three are, and I feel so _much_ for you. _All_ of you. It feels like it’s gonna burn me into fucking ash, Suzy, like I-I’m not strong enough to handle it. And I just don’t know how it’s supposed to work.”  
  
She looks pained on his behalf, and when she lifts their hands to her mouth to kiss he can feel her eyelashes tickle his knuckles. “Danny...”  
  
“Do other people feel this much?” he asks with a pained laugh. “Like, fuck, how can people survive with this much shit going on inside of them? And what the fuck happens if one of you decides you don’t want me anymore? How do I go on feeling all of this without it just fucking killing me?”  
  
“Danny,” she whispers, her eyes shining with tears. “I need you to listen to me, okay?”  
  
He’d do anything for her. He waits.  
  
“Listen, I can’t predict the future. I can’t make promises that we’ll always be there. I can’t guarantee that everything will fall into place and we’ll all live in a big house together for the rest of our lives, but...” She sighs deeply and moves closer, pulling him into her arms, their legs tangling. “All I know is that I love having you in my life. I love getting to learn new things about you every day. And no matter what happens to all of us one day, I know these good memories are gonna last forever.”  
  
“Is that worth it?” he asks, voice breaking with tears.  
  
“I’m not the same person I was before I met you, Dan. I never will be again. I’m always gonna have a piece of you with me. And maybe we should celebrate that and live every day to the fullest instead of being afraid of the end.”  
  
He squeezes his eyes shut and digs his fingers into her shirt, clinging for dear life. “I don’t know if I’m that strong.”  
  
“You are! You _are,_ Dan, I know it, I believe it with every fiber of my being. But you know what?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You have to talk to us when you’re scared. How else are we supposed to help you and let you know we’re in this for the long haul?”  
  
His mind groans, squeaky gears in the silence. “...goddammit, Scuze, you’re always right.”  
  
She laughs and pulls him in even closer, so there’s not a breath of air between them. “So what do you say? Let’s go talk to them.”  
  
It’s terrifying. But maybe it’s the only way things will feel better – if he trusts them enough to handle his weaknesses.  
  
  
~~  
  
  
“He left me once, you know. For you. He gave me one goddamn night with no explanation – we weren’t even drinking – and then the next time I talked to him he was dating you. Do you know how that feels, Arin?”  
  
“Pretty shitty, probably.”  
  
They’re both on the floor now, Brian’s head on Arin’s shoulder, Arin’s arm around him. Brian looks up at him with a frown. “You don’t even sound upset about it.”  
  
“What would I be upset about?” Arin frowns back. “At you for bringing it up and being mad at him? Like, you’re allowed to be mad, dude. He didn’t exactly handle it in the best way that he could’ve.”  
  
For some reason he never expected Arin to see his side of things. He buries his face in Arin’s neck again with a sigh. “I just...wanted to do everything right. I didn’t want to give him a reason to leave again. And hell, maybe I did anyway. Maybe I fucked it all up and smothered him. Maybe I ruined something with him for all of us.”  
  
“Hey, you know Dan. You know that he doesn’t just run away from something for good without talking about it first. So we’ll let Suzy finish with him, I’ll talk to her and see if there’s anything we need to know, and then we can meet up with him and let him talk through whatever’s going on.”  
  
Brian stays quiet, but when Arin tips his head down invitingly he steals a kiss from him. “I don’t wanna lose him. I don’t wanna be the reason either of you lose him either.”  
  
“Don’t be scared, man. We’ll figure it out, okay?” Arin’s phone buzzes, and he pulls it out of his pocket and frowns. “They’re done. Suzy wants to know if we can talk now.”  
  
Brian considers the tiny space in the storage closet. “Just bring him here.”  
  
“How the hell are we all gonna fit in here, babe?”  
  
“Cuddles?”  
  
Arin chuckles and texts her back. “All right, sure, whatever.”  
  
They rest in silence for a couple of minutes, breathing each other in and letting their tension out, and when there’s a quiet knock at the door Brian snorts. “Polite as always,” he calls.  
  
Suzy opens the door, already frowning. “Listen, for all I knew you two were fucking in here. It pays to be respectful.”  
  
“Uh-huh.” Brian’s wisecrack dies before it’s even said when he sees Danny following Suzy timidly. She puts her hand on his back and ushers him inside, and he looks this way and that before he decides to squat on the opposite side of the room, between two thick boxes. “Hey,” Brian murmurs.  
  
Dan forces a weak smile. “Hey.”  
  
The quiet that stretches out isn’t as restful as before. Arin nudges Brian, and when they lock eyes Arin jerks his head toward Dan. “Do you want to be alone over there right now?” Brian asks, swinging his eyes back to Dan.  
  
“Not really.” He shrugs. “Just didn’t wanna intrude.”  
  
“Well, prepare for me to intrude.” Brian crawls over on his hands and knees and sits directly across from Dan, knee to knee. He waits. When Dan doesn’t do anything but flick his eyes back and forth from the floor to his gaze, Brian reaches out a hand in invitation.  
  
Dan takes it.  
  
“Have you been sad recently?” Brian asks, tilting his head. “Did I miss something? Did I smother you with...too much me?”  
  
Dan stares at him hard. He wrinkles his brow slowly, like he’s processing something.  
  
Brian rubs his thumb over the back of his hand. “Dan?”  
  
Dan opens and closes his mouth before he goes on. “I think I might be in love with you.”  
  
Suzy squeaks near the door and Arin gasps, but Brian’s eyes simply widen, his heart fluttering in his chest. “What?”  
  
“That’s...what I’ve been afraid of. That I’m in love with you. After all these years.”  
  
He can’t breathe. _Holy shit._  
  
“Do you know how weird that is?” Dan asks with a weak laugh. “Saying that I’m in love with my best friend that I’m not even in a committed relationship with before I say that I’m in love with my boyfriend? Is that fucked up?”  
  
“No, Dan,” Arin says from the back of the closet. “It’s fine, you don’t-”  
  
“And another thing,” Dan interrupts, “the fact that it doesn’t...it’s not the same either. Like, hell, maybe I _do_ love Arin, but maybe I just don’t _know_ that I love him because it’s so different.”  
  
Brian is still speechless. Suzy speaks up instead. “What do you mean?”  
  
Dan keeps his gaze on Brian, still addressing him and only him. “I just know I don’t feel the same about you and Arin, and that scares the shit out of me, dude, like...it’s so big, and it’s so much, and it’s so different. How am I even supposed to know what to call it? Is it love? Who the fuck knows? It sure as hell doesn’t fit any plans I had.”  
  
Brian’s heart melts in his chest, warm and heavy, and he exhales shakily. “Oh, Dan. You can’t feel the same way about us. And that’s _okay._ That’s how it’s supposed to be. Who told you otherwise?”  
  
“No one,” Dan says roughly. He looks over at Arin and Suzy, holds a hand out in their direction, and the two of them bracket Brian from behind, Arin taking Dan’s hand and Suzy touching his knee. “No one’s told me how any of this is supposed to go. And I’m so scared I’m gonna fuck it up and drive all three of you away.”  
  
“Hey,” Brian murmurs. He pushes Dan’s hair out of his too-shiny eyes. “It’s okay. I love you too.”  
  
“And so do I,” Arin says. “But you, uh, kind of knew that already.”  
  
“And I think you’re worth sticking around for, for what it’s worth,” Suzy pipes up.  
  
“Shit,” Dan breathes, laughing and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, dragging Brian’s arm with him. “Holy shit. You’re telling me it’s okay that I’m scared and don’t know what the fuck that I’m doing? That’s impossible, don’t lie.”  
  
Brian smiles. “I give you permission to fuck up, just like I do all the time. We’ll learn from it.”  
  
“What do you need from us?” Suzy asks as she slides into Arin’s lap and rests her chin on Brian’s shoulder. “What’ll help you? Do you want to change our titles so we’re all more serious with you?”  
  
Dan considers it, and Brian watches in fascination as the expressions and thoughts play across his face. He’s incredible. He’s fucking incredible, and _he loves Brian._ “I think I still wanna take things slow,” Dan finally says. He stares at Brian in particular as he says it. “So just...if I could get some reassurance sometimes? If I ask for it? Just so I know everyone’s still interested in me and stuff?”  
  
“Absolutely.” Brian kisses the back of his hand.  
  
“And maybe some time to myself.” He flashes a smile. “Like, Brian, I-I love you, I really do, I mean that with everything I say, but holy shit, I already see you all morning every morning, and I need like five minutes to take a shower or whatever without you barging in there.”  
  
Brian sighs heavily. “Yeah, okay, fine. As long as you promise me one thing.”  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
Brian hesitates. “If you feel like I’m not doing enough for you or making you feel wanted, you’ll tell me. And...if I’m doing something wrong, you’ll tell me too, not just...leave without a word.”  
  
Dan’s eyes soften. “Deal.” He looks at both Arin and Suzy. “What about you two? Anything I can do there?”  
  
“Stay fucking hot as hell,” Arin says, fanning himself.  
  
Dan laughs. “Fuck you.”  
  
Suzy beams. “Just be happy. You deserve to be happy.”  
  
Danny blushes at that comment, letting go of Brian’s hand to rub the back of his neck. “You think so?”  
  
She touches his arm, completing the circuit between the four of them, filling each of them with warmth. “I know so.”


End file.
